Valentines Massacre

For the past few weeks I have refused to write. Frustrated with myself, the ongoing battle between what I believe and what my heart feels. Getting closer to date I dreaded what might come. Mentally I prepared myself for the worse. He'll probably ignore me, forget about me and lose my number. The mind blowing events I experienced this week will always be cherished. I didn't receive an expensive gift but what I feel in my heart I know it to be real. II don't have to guess anymore, or feel as if he doesn't notice. The words we shared, the sacred unspoken. I may have never been this comfortable around any man. I never smiled this hard. This week I had my first "movie" kiss. I can't even explain how I feel. ,Anita baker radio is what I'm feeling. Something so unexpected like love is here again.

F(fashion)oreign Relations

For the past few days I've been straining my eyes trying to consume every concept of international relations. Well realistically everything inclusive of chapters 1-7. Preparing for my makeup exam my professors review haunted me. "I can careless about the definition, I'm concerned about your understanding of the concepts". Aimlessly I stared into my pinewood desk. At such a critical hour, all I could think of was Chanel's show, (the app is amazing) thats when my vintage beret hat made the paradigm of liberalism clear. Of all the theories in my textbook I am appalled fashion has not been included. Fashion is what brings together the EU the Americas, and Asia. The similarities and socially aspects liberalist speak of are expressed through springs 2012 collections. American designer Marc Jacobs is at the head of the LV house, bridging American and French fashionistas together, who in return set norms and trends to the world to come.

Trouble sleeping

Girl problems

Terrified by my feelings, I seldom allow myself to think of you. I am not scared to love you, I am only afraid that once you discover that I do all will be lost. Love beats upon my chest, her weight is heavy like bricks. Sitting at the tips of my tongue, anxious to reveal my deepest secret. She has no eyes, she is unaware that you belong to everyone and no one. All she wants is for me to tell you she is here. She's been around for quite a while now, and it seems almost everyone can see her but you. You see there's only two type of men worth writing about the man you despise and the man you love. Sweetheart you are truly the latter. I am intrigued by what I don't know about you, what you have been through, your smile during times of hell. Your craving for knowledge, to know about everything around you. The fact of the matter is I feel as if it would be impossible for you to ever love me, it's crazy for you to even like me so soon, but how I feel is true. I am helplessly in love with a man, I shouldn't have met. Head over heels for the time I spend wrapped in your arms, or rubbing your back. I adore every glance of your face resting in my lap. The innocence I see, the love for your family. I am cursed, so I'm still fighting trying to run the farthest from you. But running hurts just as bad as staying....

Visualize it

Race Model

Runners take your mark....
The moment is here, the stadium seems to be closing in on us. Stepping out in front of the blocks in my lane, I bend over and touch my toes, repeating this motion three times. Bending down, I'm backing into the blocks now. Flashbacks from practice surface. "foot to the outside of the pad d3". Taking my time to make sure both feet fit on the pad. Stretching out my hands, elbows locked. The moment is here. The only thing in my vision is the #2 down the middle of my blocks. "Set"..... Deep breath baby, eyes still fixed on 2
"powww" push away, shoulders moving forward, hips forward, head down, ahhhh the grunts are released as I push harder down the track. Gradually, naturally I come up. Here's the moment my feet quicken I'm hitting shorter than! It's going to throw me out the back.... Race ends 7.26


He was the turning point. 20 years of life had passed by, twenty years of living so passively. I always did let others get ahead, or take the first pick. Every guy I was really interested in I let them go by, because someone else deserved them right? I couldn't just let him go so easily. The stories started fast, he was interested in almost every girl I knew in a matter minutes. The old me would have just walked away and let them have him. I couldn't. Sometimes you have to fight for what you want. For the first time in my life I went for the guy I wanted. He turned out to be pretty amazing, and sweet. He taught me so much about myself, mostly to embrace myself.

A night of Fashion FACES&MBA

I have decided that it is a must for me to support and indulge in the local fashion scene. The city of Gainseville only offers so much, however something is better than nothing. UF's FACES modeling troupe and the minority business association put on a fashion show/business seminar. I enjoyed the show, the idea was amazing. Me and the girls had to take pictures afterwards Xoxo

Vintage Cali Bag

Everything thirted except my skirt from From forever21. I watched purple rain yesterday and the song has finally hit me as hard as it did in its hay day. It inspired me to look deep down and explain what I left unknown

First Class

Traveling back from Texas, I encountered a woman. She's the epitome of class. Her demeanor spoke volumes to someone aspiring to be half of what she has become. I felt so honored to be in her presence.

Diary Entry

Im still fighting. I cant believe what might be happening to me. There is no logical explanation for anything I feel. Im in need of a remedy, Im having trouble sleeping. Karma should have no reason to taunt me, so why am I cursed. The feelings are growing stronger, I am becoming a beautiful fool.


I unsuccessfully attempted to rid myself of my Mr. Quicksand. I have fallen for him like a fool. I tell myself he belongs to everyone and no one. A walking contradiction, no good, cold hearted man. I have said one of these words at least once a day and my feelings still remain. Idiot. I make him seem horrible when in reality I have never experienced being as happy as I am around him. He is actually a sweetheart, I haven't met one person to object other than myself. Sometimes he opens up and it eats me alive only because I feel as if the words might slip off my tongue. The need to go off on a tangent to get the point that he is amazing across to him. If only he knew how I felt.

A Day Late

These pictures were taken yesterday and I forgot to post them because the season has finally picked up I'm so busy.

Diary Entry

I never write about running. I never write about how fast I ran, or my aspirations beyond college. To put it simply I feel like "whats understood don't need to be explained". I'll ramble on and on about fashion, entertainment and my love interest for hours. The reason for it all is because without words I can not express how I feel. If I dont write memoirs of those things down, they will run off with the wind. Those areas of my life make up a story that im dying to share with strangers. I want to be closer to them, for us to connect.
 The difference with running is that I find it very intimate. Most of my day is spent releasing all that I am,  aggression, passion, tenacity, and determination. I run against the clock, and numbers don't need words to have value. I have no desire to write about how bad I want to make an Olympic team because the sweat on my brow should speak loud enough. The aching soreness in my thighs should be enough explanation. The blank reoccuring stare of focus should easily communicate that Im no where near the greatest right now. The whole world isn't waiting on my next race, but not of that matters because what I am capable of, what I will push myself to become, there is no word to explain it, nor a person to predict. Im preparing to seize the moment, not to win over an audience.

No Boys Allowed.

For the past few months I've felt out of place. Every trip home reminded me of the spark that me and my older sister started. Some how I let people push me back into a box. Trying to avoid criticism and anxiety I let my half of the deal fade. The ideas continued to circulate but I stayed complacent, unaware of how to balance it all.   Its crazy how were taught to play it safe, but like the saying goes "If you never go to far, you'll never know how far you can go".  So here goes everything. Im not expecting you to understand, Im expecting you to doubt me. Some will say im spreading myself to thin, but my element has always been outside of the norm. There's an emptiness within me because I cant keep holding back. Its the only way for everything to come together.


A late night turned into an early morning. Ive spent the entire night trying to figure out how to walk away from nothing. So why is it so hard, why can't I send that message. I feel like getting ghost is the only solution. But I can't not now not yet. I just need a few more days to cherish how he makes me feel. How comfortable I am around him. I could continue this rant for pages. I caught feelings even though I said I never would. So I'm left with the only option. To keep everything inside always inside. Just let things continue to flow and enjoy everything about him that I find amazing

Diary Entry

Today was one of those days. I consumed myself with reading, and anything fashionable. Mainly because I love to partly because I'm trying to keep him off of my mind. everything was going smooth until the vibration of my phone interrupted Anita Baker's sweet singing. glancing at the text message my whole day changed for the better. It's crazy how he can do that. He always has been able to, Mr. Quicksand.

Boxed In

Today is my day off from the track, I'm very grateful for that. Instead of carelessly shopping downtown my mouth is swollen from a root canal. A surprise root canal so to say I had no clue until I was under the knife.

Asos marketplace items

So I'm listing these items on Asos marketplace, the dress and both tops in the pictures.


Just as everything worth mentioning usually is it started as a fling. We shared kind smiles and great hugs. Every tuesday I saw him. Tuesday was our day, well in my eyes anyway. I adored him from the beginning.

Bald Head Dillemas

Choosing a hair style is one of the most important decisions you can make having short hair. To look soft or edgey is always where I become indecisive. This time I'm thinking ahead, whether to grow my bangs out or not.  I've always loved bangs and I wear them well, I usaully add weave but I cant deal any longer. This past weekend I had a trackmeet and I just died to have this Rhianna like mohawk that was absolutely beautiful! The problem was that prior to that I was weave-less for nearly 9 months. The whole itching, spritz, blow dryer, stiff look Is something I cant deal with any more. Im concentrating on taking care of my own hair, growing out my bangs should be fun.