Hope and her Daughter

Christmas Eve

Today has been wonderful so far. Long night of heated debate with my nephew and brother, then practice, and finally thrifting!!! I bought myself something special and vintage, a bag. You never can have too many bags. Xoxo



It's like every time I fall out of love I have to question whether it was really real. Love is not magic however it's a choice and once I start choosing to love and embracing the idea of someone else God allows you to forgot what was once a bitter taster a burning wound to the chest. I'm learning what I want, I don't want to have to take care of a man forever I would like to be spoiled equally instead of constantly drained until I have nothing left. I would love to be with someone bigger than me willing to protect, provide and love without fear. Someone I don't have to teach a man who will compliment my accomplishments, intellects, and ambitions. Someone who I can be myself around someone who enjoys me being myself. Someone who notices the small things, like the fact that I do my hair almost every four days. And the styles are completely different. Someone who says good morning and good night darling. Someone i feel sexy around, a baby but never a child. Someone who makes me feel aware of myself my confidence and enjoys embracing me... A man who prays hard, and allows God to move in his life! That's what I want I just have to stop looking for it.


Time to pick the pace up. I didn't come home to sit around and enjoy the scenery, I'm here to put my hands on opportunities, to network with people to make major moves! Lord give me a heart of courage, to continue to hustle ad never get complacent.

DISCOUNT, Karmaloop.com

Hey Guys Im giving you all an early christmas Gift.  Karmaloop.com has everything you could ever want when it comes to clothes, shoes and accessories. Guy or Girl trust me they GOT YOU!!  and for christmas I would love for everyone to be CLEAN so click the link below and shop away to receive 20% off any purchase on their site. You can always send me your pictures
Heres the Link:
20% 0FF ANY PURCHASE @ Karmaloop.com

Love Doll. XOXOXO trying to turn this christmas right side up!

Red & Comic

Last day of finals! First step of making major moves. Today will forever be remembered as EPIC. That only word weird as well as over the top. I had to bring the weirdo in me back. Street style is whatever kills, and I was just made to swagg.

Captured it all

So yesterday I had one shot at being banquet ready. I had to get it all at one place, the chosen place was Forever XXI so everything here is forever's . I was going for advice from my main man and boobie but then it happened, this was reaching out for me.

Griff & Coops Graduation Dinner

A collection of so many thrifted pieces, I mean everything! *31 Charms & No Boys Allowed*  I'll be blogging about both and some goodies they're having for the holidays next weekend once I get home...as in Miami. Also Here's the Main Man for you guys who aren't acquainted with this kid yet. That's my homie right there man. Teammate and one of my close friends. I'll be auctioning him off soon to a FLY young lady. as you can see he is always clean, always. 


So I've been going crazy for the last few days, dealing with everything and anything. Today was the turning point though, Inhale Exhale...Live. When things are out of your control there's no need to even consider It as stress you should label it "Caution: Will cause you to overwhelm yourself and DIE!!" Emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually im drained. This little baby has made major changes, and has yet to look back. My neck is twitching because I thought about it giving up so many nights. Who am I to just get up and start over. This weekend the doubt kicked in but Im kicking back. I really do not care about what others assume, or believe about me. What they believe is best, not even what worked for them. 6 months into living a new life I feel it pulling me back in... so here is when my mother would say it alright I wont be upset if you do it. Thats when I flick 'em off TWICE!

Night Out.

Last Night was Ladies Night, Ciara and Avery's Birthday, But more than anything it was about us going in!
Here Im wearing a Tuxedo Vest and Sequins Shorts add my bow-tie and earlace =Swagg. Featured Here wearing an Orange Blazer, Sequins shorts and decorated bra is stephanie my ELMO.  Our Vlog is on the way babies so stick around for it.

Button Down: Thrifted Blazer: Forever XXI Tie: ASOS Skinnys: Forever XXI Bow: Gift from a friend Studs: Marc by Marc Jacobs

My obsession for Ties prevails throughout the year. Knotted around my neck there's a sense of confidence that I love. I never feel like a school girl, more like the Professor. My writing is at it's best once I transform into the buisness man.

To be honest...

So I've been going through alot lately, well since the summer. A breakup, isolating myself from family, total confusion. For so long I felt like everyone against me had gotten the best of me. People who were happy my last relationship ended, My ex just seemed to be happier than he's ever been, and my friends sometimes cant seem to understand whats going on inside my head. What no one really knows is that up until recently I cried in my bed every night, wishing that some how Armonee would come to his senses and change. In the same prayer I asked God to guide me, strengthen me and help me see joy throughout my pain. I can honestly say I've finally learned to trust God. Im very seldomly worked up about things I cannot control. I've realized that Even when I mess up God will provide. But more than anything I learned that God is who keeps me one step ahead. Recently me and my ex-boyfriend were on crazy terms, I was falling for him again and he would seem to care every other week. My eyes were so blinded by what we had together I didnt care I was willing to do whatever to be next to him again. Then all of a sudden everything in me changed. I woke up and I was unsure if I still loved him. If you would have asked me that question on 10/1 I would have responded with every inch of my body, Today I can tell you that he was amazing and I will cherish our greatest moments. I prayed constantly for God help ease the pain, If he's for me help me be strong, If he's not make me stronger. I guess i have the strength of Hercules now, because Im over it. And I know with everyone around me either completely for us getting back together or completely against it, Only God could have helped me free myself from being bound to pleasing one person so much that I would neglect myself. He knew the uncertainty in my heart sometimes, He knew the pain had never healed, He knew what was best and he held me every night I cried. Lord knows there were days when i cried so hard I threw up, my head ached for hours. My whole body was sick once he left, stress consumed me. I wanted him more than anything else in this life, I put a man before God. I was ready to do anything and everything to keep him, "Ah Fool BAYBEE". It maybe hard for some people to understand, but this guy had given me everything he had at one point. His love and trust was real for sometime but people have the right to change. Their love is not always consistent. He helped me in ways no other man will ever have to, I felt like owed him my life. How could I just up and leave him, he was there before I was anything worth mentioning. Then I remembered those feeling evolved from my own insecurities. I deserve more but I have always been afraid to ask for more. Maybe im so certain that what I want in a relationship isn't real life, so I settle for just enough.

One Photo & A Private Party

Today was smooth, I mean Foxy B "Gotta Get You Home" smooth lol. High Waisted Tommy Jeans, White Tee, Jean Jacket and Juicy. Usaully Im a fool for scenery, I love to just sit back and watch, I love being outside just to admire what everyone else is wearing. I loved Ebony's outfit today, Black on Black is always stunning! I felt beyond bummy earlier, My hair was a mess, My skin was oily UGH i hated it. I got through it anyway, Engaged in great conversation. We said the samething at the same time, so I had a good laugh about that. I just spent the last two hours restoring myself. A long hot bath, No polish, Clear Skin, My hair washed, deep conditioned and wrapped up. I believe every woman should have her own similiar private party atleast once every two weeks. Just time for you instead of spending it worrying about tomorrow, men or how beautiful women are on TV.

My Story...

As a little girl i hated "girly" clothes, the piles of pink and puple shirts and dresses were my arched nemesis. As i grew older I expressed myself as a tomboy more and more, khaki shorts, tanks, and sweatpants. My older sisters and younger sisters were always so stunning, beautiful so in tune with fashion. I was the ugly duckling. My older sister Star picked out and dressed me since I was a little girl up until my 17th birthday. Around that time, my little sister Sabbah was already emerging into a fashion icon. Where ever we went she was "fresh", "fly". Me on the other hand I was just chilling, It never meant that much to me to my head was in the books, my feet either on the stage or on the track. I had no time to try to be beautiful, I had to keep it SAVAGE! Thats the only way I knew how to maintain sucess. Late into my junior year, I felt like things needed to change. I had a boyfriend! I needed to look like a girl, feel like a girl. I began to mimic Star daily. Heels and big bags to school, tightly fitted sweaters I was cute lol. The only problem was I couldnt really walk in heels to well, and when people mentioned something about it I would run to the bathroom and just cry. Everything I wore was designer labels but no one seemed to notice. Girls in highschool were wearing Nike outfits and here I am standing in Michael Khors heels and nobody gives me the slightest compliment. I could not fathom what the problem was, why did fashion despise me? My senior year I tried more, me and sabbah fought every morning over different pieces. Heels were a must , even though I had a funny walk. I wore plenty of tight dresses, a few of the latest air maxes, Lord knows my bob game was up to part. I was cute but I still was a non-factor. The turning point was during my senior track season, I ran at Florida relays and it went horrible. My ankle was in so much pain. Meeting up with a doctor and physician they explained to me the damage wearing heels often had on my ankles and feet. If i continued to wear them daily for 7 hours running would be difficult. My freshmen year of college I came in thinking this campus is way too big to wear heels. Soon enough being in an environment that was anti-teambaldhead, took a toll on my self-esteem. I tried to buy clothes my other teammates did, It was always hot on them but blah on me. My only spark was my fascination with scarves. I started buying scarves like crazy, using them for headwraps, belts, anything. Then it was like a domino effect. I decided that I can like clothes, and fashion and it doesnt matter if I was not a fashionista my whole life. My life starts now! That was this summer two months before my 20th birthday, I finally found the courage to find my own way. I started destroying, bleaching, and cutting clothes I always hated. Like this one fleece knitted dress, HORRIBLE! I actually am pretty good at what I do. Im still finding my way but I have learned to embrace myself, my mistakes, what others hate that I love. Most of all i have confidence. And if you were wondering as of today women step back when I walk in heels because my walk is quite intimidating or so i've been told.

3 Stacks

Shirt: American Apparrel, Trousers: Styles by Sakira, Shoes: Ebay
Back in Gainesville, Business as usaul. Today is awfully gloomy and I have yet to see my crush (insert sad face). I feel so tall today, i guess its the stacked up oxfords.

Undeniably Change...

How could this happen, how could what I was so sure of in my heart change. Sometimes guilt builds up in my chest, I cant believe I moved on. Of course this is the part where after I've been chasing you for months unsure of your feelings, your so nonchalant. All hopes of us getting back together were crushed, I gave up, my eyes saw too much. I can't share, and hope It'll grow back into something in the future. Either you here or you aint! Somewhere in between all of this, I had a crush and I never thought it would become anything, but right now its the greatest feeling.... If it makes it any better sometimes at night I cry since it feels like im betraying you.

Decades Ago

Button Down: Cotton On, Skirt: Urban Threads
This is my last night in Miami, Im so ready to be in route back to gainseville...I can't believe I just said that. I love the city, I adore the city life even more, especially with my family here. The only problem is that im a child here. When im miles away im 20, somedays 24, here im 12 somedays 16. Being confined in a box that others feel is appropriate for me, Im slowly breaking out, but the process is dreadful in the meantime. My mother also found out about my tatto, im relieve and sad, Me and my mother have built a strong relationship recently and i cherish her wisdom and presence in my life more than I ever would have imagined. I hate that she might think differently of me, I didnt mark my body to be rebellious, I just needed to make a move to Start living life for Darshay, and no one else. Being that I can't my hair any shorter I figured that was the next best thing, I love that bow, its the first daring thing I've ever done and since then I've been what I was born to be.....Different!


Button Up: Ebay, Scarf: Cotton On, Shorts: Forever XXI, Tights: Pacsun, Boots: Forever XXI

Today I made an Amaretto Cheesecake Owwwww! I had to spice it up before night falls... more pics to come guys oh btw Thanksgiving in MIAMI!!!